This just cracks me up. Especially after reading #1 through #3 and then you get to #4, I can't stop laughing. If you've been these various venues (rave, dance club, hip-hop club, etc...), you'll totally get this humor.
You know who you are. Standing behind that deck of turntables, holding one headphone to your ear, being pretentious and aloof as you play with knobs and shuffle through records. You can just settle down, because nobody cares that you're a DJ.
Take a read.