Star Trek Sexadventure

Just thought I would highlight something I mentioned in my last post because I thought it was particularly funny. I wrote about joys using Google Code Search to search through source code for interesting comments. Definitely a geeky pasttime.

However that geekiness is overshadowed by something interesting I found. In this case, it’s not the comments that are interesting, but the actual code itself.

It appears to be a lonely geek’s fantasy written in code. A text-based adventure about sexcapades with Dr. Beverly Crusher on the star trek enterprise. Here’s a tame snippet to give you an idea.

dancewithdesc ( actor ) = { "You and [Dr. Beverly Crusher] dance a quiet, soft, close dance around her quarters. It is really quite chaste, but you find yourself intoxicated by her scent and stimulated by your grasp and hers, both of which stray far lower on each others’ backs than is supposedly called for with this step.";

From http://www.ex-astris-scientia.org/gallery/wost/beverly2.jpg

You have to read it to believe it (warning, trashy novel style adult content).

What others have said

Requesting Gravatar... Romirez Dec 08, 2006 5:05 AM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
Hah! Suddenly the filename 'std.t' takes on a whole new meaning
Requesting Gravatar... Barry Dorrans Dec 08, 2006 5:09 AM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
So what you're saying is that you really have a secret geocities site, and you're coming out?
Requesting Gravatar... Mark Dec 08, 2006 6:39 AM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
Thats really a cool script. heh
Requesting Gravatar... Phil Dec 08, 2006 8:17 AM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
I don't think it's sad that this code exists. What's sad is that I'd kill for the code I'm currently "maintaining" to be this well organized and documented
Requesting Gravatar... Haacked Dec 08, 2006 8:34 AM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
@Barry, you're on to me. This was all a ploy to receive impartial reviews.
Requesting Gravatar... Evan Dec 08, 2006 8:42 AM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
7 diggs and counting...this is hillarious
Requesting Gravatar... Mladen Dec 09, 2006 4:19 AM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
What I'd like to know is what were you searching for when you found this? ;)
Requesting Gravatar... Haacked Dec 09, 2006 2:24 PM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
Heh heh. I explained in a comment to my last post.
Requesting Gravatar... Johnie Dec 10, 2006 12:08 PM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
hands push them together, and your c**k slips into a heavenly prison. Not wanting you to come, she holds perfectly still until the music ends, only her tongue dances across your stomach. ";


HA! I love how he even references his fear of premature ejaculation.
Requesting Gravatar... Johnie Dec 10, 2006 12:18 PM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
Also the error messages:
eatdesc ( actor ) = { "Error! This should not be able to be put in her mouth! "; }
TFdesc ( actor ) = { "Error! This should not be able to be placed between her boobs. "; }
AFdesc ( actor ) = { "Error! This should not be put here! "; }
PFdesc ( actor ) = { "Error! You can't pleasure her with this! "; }


Also, how he breaks down this process in comments:

/* arousal and issexready are very important control variables. issexready is a boolean
value, which indicates whether or not she is even viewing the player as a potential
sexual partner at all yet. The first check for all sexual actions and requests looks at
issexready first, and returns NotReady or NotReadyAsk. For instance, if you sat down
next to a woman on the bus and asked her for a hummer, you would receive a NotReadyAsk
response. Depending on the character, and how mean you are, the response from a
NotReadyX response could be rather nasty. If she issexready, then each action has some
sort of arousal threshold, such as blowthresh, and we will check to see if her arousal,
a numeric value, is => that thresh. If so, execute the corresponding description
function, in this case blowdesc. If she is not aroused enough, issue the NotReady or
NotReadyAsk method. For instance, let's say the player did a girl's dishes and fixed the
washing machine, thus letting her relax, and making her grateful to him. If this is
enough to open her eyes to his obvious physical attractiveness (issexready := true;) she
is still unlikely to let him jam his face between her legs right off, so her NotEnough
method should be executed if he tried. NotEnoughX routines should be at least different,
and probably less harsh in tone than NotReadyX routines should be. */
Requesting Gravatar... suraj bisht Feb 23, 2007 10:53 PM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
sex is life
Requesting Gravatar... Leon Nov 03, 2007 12:08 AM
# re: Star Trek Sexadventure
Very nice. I would've preferred one with Troi. But this is good too. But seriously, you risk the risk of Picard kicking your ass.

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